


I Hate You by Simon Curtis

by PandoraButler



Series: Music Inspired One-Shots [18]
Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Izuo - Freeform, M/M, Shizaya - Freeform, bad break up, drrr - Freeform, drrr!!! - Freeform, durarara - Freeform, shizuo cheated on izaya
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-18
Updated: 2017-06-18
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:27:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26084173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PandoraButler/pseuds/PandoraButler
Relationships: Heiwajima Shizuo & Orihara Izaya, Heiwajima Shizuo & Vorona, Heiwajima Shizuo/Orihara Izaya
Series: Music Inspired One-Shots [18]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1397482
Kudos: 2





	I Hate You by Simon Curtis

There was a knock at the door. I didn't want to open it. I knew who it was and what they would say. _I always knew_. It was the same person every single time. Shizu-chan. Shut up. Leave. Just go. I can't handle this anymore. Do you not get it? Why are you so stupid? You damn brute. Leave my life already. 

I'm curled up on the couch. I'm thinking about all the ways that I could kill him. He needs to leave this world, permanently. But. He isn't doing as I wish. The knocks only get louder. Why does he know where I live? I've moved ten times. Is there another information broker around? One that I supposedly don't know about? Or is my idiotic assistant telling him where I've moved? Maybe it's Erika. She loves to force us together. We aren't compatible. This isn't a relationship that can happen.

Why does no one understand that?

I hate him. Everything about him, I hate. I tried to make this as painless as possible. If he knocks one more time, I might actually stab him. No. He will just dodge. Why does he always dodge? It's rude. Just die already, you protozoan. 

Sigh. He is still knocking. You're so strong Shizu-chan, just break the damn door down and come find me. Why do I have to do all the work? Leave my sight. Will you? Please? I wrap myself further in the blanket. I want to disappear. Playing with humans isn't as fun as it used to be. There is nothing to cheer me up now. I'm sad. I want to cry but I won't. I won't give him the satisfaction of knowing I cried over him. 

He might actually break the door down. I don't think I can afford that right now. I've barely made any money over the past few months. Sigh. I'll just open the door. Maybe he will really leave peacefully this time if I just talk to him. What good is a conversation between us going to do? I don't get it. But. Shizu-chan keeps trying. I might as well just deal with it for once. 

I shuffle off the couch and over to the door. My blanket is still wrapped around me. I sneeze. I'm really cold right now. I wonder why. I turned off the AC a while ago. Tch. I open the door and Shizu-chan forces himself in my home before I can slam the door in his face. I almost fall over. I don't though. I manage to catch myself. That's good. I don't want to fall into him. That would be bad. I glare. He just looks down at me with a sad expression. I don't give a fuck how you feel. Just make this quick. 

"Izaya," he begins. I can almost hear his voice crack, "I'm sorry. I really am. Please don't be like this..."

"Sorry for what? For cheating on me with that Russian chick? Shut up. Get out. I don't want to listen to your damn excuses, Shizu-chan," I am about to open the door, to make him leave, but he slams his hand on it, forcing it to stay closed. He is now hovering over me, trapping me, like he usually does. 

So, I knee him in the nuts. His whole body cringes. I suppress the urge to smirk. He takes a step back. I swiftly move behind him and kick him in the back of the knee, causing him to fall to the ground. He falls. I move to sit on top of him. I straddle him. Things like this would have been a lot more entertaining back in the day, back before he slept with Vorona. 

I take out my switch blade and press it to his neck. He could overpower me at any time, but, if he knows what's good for him, he won't. Finally getting some smarts in your system? Eh Shizu-chan? You wanted a conversation. I'm going to give you a motherfucking conversation. So start talking. No excuses. No denial. Just talk you little shit. What do you want to say to me? 

"I'm sorry," he says. I can't see what his eyes look like with those shades on. I don't care either. But 'I'm sorry' isn't going to cut it. There isn't anything you can say to take back what you did. There isn't anything you could do to make me forgive you. I hated you before I loved you. We're just going back in time Shizu-chan. There isn't anything bad about it. But, this time, I might actually kill you.

"You're sorry? Shizu-chan? You're sorry. Yeah. I get it. Say something more unique. Beg at my feet like the filthy slut you are. Get out of my house before I really do slit your throat. You want me to forgive you? I won't. It's impossible. I can't forgive something like that. You can't apologize nearly enough times."

"What do you want me to do?" he says. For a moment, I almost believe he is willing to do anything for me. But I won't believe it. I hate him. It's just how things are going to be between us now. Hatred. Nothing more. 

"I hate you. I hate you. I hate you, everything about you,"I say, "What about that don't you understand? I want you to _die."_

He does something unexpected after this. He grabs my hand, the same one holding the knife, and presses it closer to his throat, "Then I'll die," he says. He says it without a second thought. I stare at him, dumbfounded. I've thought about killing him for so long. I never thought it would actually happen. Why am I not feeling as satisfied as I want to? Why am I crying? These aren't tears of relief. This isn't joy I'm feeling. 

"Why are you crying? I thought you wanted me to die," he asks. Yeah. I know. I'm thinking the same thing. Why am I crying?

"I didn't sleep with her," he says. What do you mean you didn't sleep with her? She was all over you. I walked in on you two. It looked damn well like you two slept together to me. People don't usually hang out in a bed together naked in their spare time, Shizu-chan. 

"She was drunk and made advances all on her own. I didn't act on them. I tried to stop her. You walked in at the wrong time. Izaya, please believe me. If you don't, that's fine too. You can kill me. I won't dodge. I won't run away," Shizu-chan takes his hand off mine. He allows me to do what I wish. I'm tempted. I'm very tempted. But I already know that I can't kill him. I already know that I don't want him to die. 

I take my blade and stab the floor beside his head. He doesn't even flinch. Beast. Damn brute. Monster. Why did you have to be like this? Why can't I hate you completely anymore? You weren't supposed to get me to forgive you. Why can't I believe that what you're telling me is a lie? I don't get it. I want to hate you. But I can't anymore. I just, I just don't understand. 

More tears leave my eyes. I stand up. I grab my blanket. I walk away. He stands up. He follows me. He wraps his arms around me and hugs me from behind. He trapped me again. I don't struggle. I just keep crying, silently. He just keeps holding me. 

"I really do hate you, Shizu-chan," I mutter between sobs, "because you always get me to love you again. It's annoying. Just stop. Please and thank you."

"I'd rather not," he replies, "because I love you too much to let you go."

I look up at him with my tear-stained face, "Aren't you supposed to let people go if you love them?"

He frowns, "That's never happening." I laugh. Right. This guy is a monster. He doesn't think like a normal human. I suppose that makes me a monster too, for allowing myself to continue to love him. We have such a strange relationship. But, I guess that's fine too.


End file.
